1. |
New Year's Eve
03:03
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Last night you couldn't bring yourself to love me again
It was New Year's Eve
It was depression
I tried not to cry, but the night was ruined
It was New Year's Eve
in anxiety
Effort is no match for our own heads
They stay above the water but we use our arms to tread
How can we find the time? I'll love you when I'm dead
Lying next to me
You're still pretty
You're still the one
I want to marry
I thought things would get easier as we aged
But I'm lonely
I can barely breathe
Of course Too many washes makes the fabric fade
Now I'm lonely
You say you're trying
Effort is no match for our own heads
They stay above the water but we use our arms to tread
How can we find the time? I'll love you when I'm dead
Lying next to me
You're still pretty
You're still the one
I want to marry
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2. |
2030
04:48
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I hope when the world ends in 2030
We’ll have done all the things we wanted to
So we can lay down together
Hold hands next to each other
Lay in the earth and wait to be consumed
I hope when the world ends in 2030
We still remember what it was like to breathe the air
And to be so on fire with love
then just like when we were young
we’ll throw caution to the wind and kiss right here
So swim to me
You know where to meet
So swim to me
You know where to meet
I hope when the world ends in 2030
You have the good sense to die with me
We’ll have pretended long enough
That we could live apart
So we’ll cut the act and exit quietly
So swim to me
You know where to meet
So swim to me
You know where to meet
I hope when the world ends in 2030
If there’s horrors that even we can’t defy
That in our last moments
When the sea line meets the mountains
I’ll get to just look into your eyes
So swim to me
You know where to meet
So swim to me
You know where to meet
And I’ll run with all my might
cause if i have to die
I’m going to hold you for one last time
I’m going to hold you for one last time
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3. |
Second Love
04:32
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I’m gonna destroy the next man that I touch
Out of practice - call it clumsiness
Not forgiven - call it sweet revenge
Never been good at making friends
I’m sorry to the next one to love me
All of me will not be with all of you
I've been dyed a little bit of her color
So my second love will be tinted teal blue
I'm proud of how far I've left her behind
Moved to a new city / rebuilt my life
Nostalgic for nothing / I’m completely honest
Except for the polaroid in the drawer of my desk
I’m sorry to the next one to love me
All of me will not be with all of you
I've been dyed a little bit of her color
So my second love will be tinted teal blue
It’s hard to focus
And even harder to forget
Because she’s the one who taught me how to move around a kitchen
Those are parts of me I can’t give up
There’s parts of me I can’t give up
I’m sorry to the next one to love me
All of me will not be with all of you
I've been dyed a little bit of her color
So my second love will be tainted teal blue
And it’s hard to focus, and even harder to forget
So many nights, so many morals, so many songs, so many grocery trips
If I could take it back from her, I’d be so different
So she’s a part of me for now I guess
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4. |
New Year's Day
04:17
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New Year’s Day was just another sunrise spent inching away from you
It’s like turning a page
Another tug on the bandaid
Cut my yellow wires you Got me disengaged
I am resolved to make it to the change
ohhhhhu
we didn't lose the leyline
it's just a parallel life
oghhhhhh
we didn't lose the leyline
connecting you and I
There weren't any turtles in the pond this time
Cried as I looked across to the other side
I just want one thing to stay the same
It's been 6 months hanging on lost threads
Pretending I don't love you and I'm not mad
The choices that I make spawn infinite universes and they’re
Kaliedescoping out of every one of my decisions
I just want things a little bit the same
Search my notes maybe there's Nothing worth finding
Or maybe this one is the version where I’m happy.
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5. |
Content
04:41
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You said “how was the cubbyhole?”
I said it’s no different
Next time you come to new york
I’ll have to take you there again
Maybe… you say
And now I’m feeling stupid
we both know you hate the city
If you were only there for me
Then why would you come here anymore?
Sometimes the work that I’m putting in feels meaningless
Without you
But someday it'll matter i'll see that it matters
The weeks have been going by in a haze
I’m not quite sure the day
The sun rises without me
I barely notice summer’s over
A lot of energy is used
for not screaming your name
In the grocery store while buying peas
Or the living room with my family
Sometimes the work that im putting in feels meaningless
Without you
But someday it'll matter I'll see that it matters
I romanticized having a broken heart as a kid
Because pain would mean that I had loved and lost into a whole person
and I could cut my hair and write new songs and learn to walk alone
and buy flowers for myself and eat oranges from a bowl
and read novels before bed and watch what I want on TV
and lose weight like it’s my job and get my harvard law degree
Its nothing like the movies, but i think I’m doing well
I’m getting better at sleeping alone and being nicer to myself
Sometimes the work that I’m putting in feels meaningless
Without you
But someday it'll matter i'll see that it matters
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Julien Crean Brooklyn, New York
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